Squirrelly

We heard it. The distinct sounds of someone breaking into the house. Our ears perked. Our hearts started to race with adrenaline. “Fight or flight?” We gave each other the look, “Fight. Defend.” I slowly put my laptop down and crept down the hallway with my loyal dog beside me. We followed the sounds through the den, then the kitchen, until we turned towards the laundry room. Then WHAM! SMACK! CRASH! It all happened at once. The large and hairy intruder was trying to climb out the window, except the window was locked shut.

Toby ran towards him with determined speed, a dream of his long life about to come true! The squirrel tried again and finally realized that window was not going to budge with the force of his walnut-sized skull. It darted between Toby’s legs to the breakfast nook and tried his strength at those windows. To no avail. Frustrated and terrified by the dog literally on its heels (squirrels have heels, right?) it ran for the den and the shabby fireplace insert.

(Pause: The following pictures are of summer and do not reflect this story. There was no time for such extravagances. Please enjoy the show.)

(Resume).

Forward flash 36 hours. The squirrel that should have left was still occupying my fireplace. Except now he was hungry. He must have been regretting his last move, because as we returned home from a swim at Oma’s house we found Toby cornering the terrified critter in the nook of the entertainment center. I thought fast:

“Ryder, hold that metal piece flush with the brick of the fireplace. Otherwise he’ll scoot back in.”
Ryder holds it with one hand, while managing a ukulele in the other (not kidding. Newest hobby.)
“Rory. Cody. Couch. Now.”
They comply, as if ready for a show. I half expected them to ask for popcorn.

I opened the backdoor wide. Surely this critter will sense the orders and vamoose. I slowly moved the furniture he was wedged behind and before one could yell “nuts!” this rat was jumping from the DVD player to the end of the couch. Frightened by the squeals (mine included) it then channeled its distant cousin, the sugar glider, and appeared on the highest bookshelf only to freeze instantly upon landing because Cody played a pitch pipe (it came with the ukulele). “What?! Seriously? He’s the miniature pied piper!” I thought to myself.

Sadly Cody did not hold the note but instead fell off the couch laughing. Which was followed by Rory squealing in delight, which startled the squirrel so very badly that it left the bookshelf in a mad skitter to the fireplace where Ryder was seriously manning his post. Upon the vile critter’s third wrap around Ryder’s shirtless trunk (I did mention we just got back from swimming, right?), Ryder drops the fireplace insert cover (but not the ukulele) to where the gosh darn squirrel goes back to his post. I take a breather, text Chris for reinforcements, and take a shower. One must reevaluate the strategy.

T-minus 50 minutes until a conference call, get dinner in bellies, kids to bed, and oh right, to rid the wild beast that is now permanently residing in my fireplace. Chris pulls the iron fireplace insert out of the brick surround as carefully as hundreds of pounds will eek out. The squirrel is nowhere to be found.

“Look up!” I holler from the kitchen
“Are you going to help me or not?” Chris yells back from the den with his head wedged up the flue.
“Sure. Didn’t know we could both fit up there. I would open the front door first.”
“The front door? No, you should just get a bag or container or something.” he says.
I compromise with my actions by opening the back door and side window. Chris then hands me the broom.
“What? You want me to coax it out of the flue? How chivalrous.”

I do my best to keep my girlish nerves under control as I shove my head up a dark hole that is supposedly occupying a giant and angry (and hungry might I remind you) squirrel. I pretended I was whacking at a pinata of my youth (candy right, think candy. Cute paper horse.) WHAM! SMACK! SQUEAL! (the squirrel, not me) races out of the abyss into the den once again. The kids clap with excitement. I laugh at the repeat in chaos. The dog is once again on cloud nine. Chris does an outstanding job attempting to tunnel the squirrel that is army crawling the den carpet to the WIDE OPEN back door. Three times over this elusive and obviously very idiotic varmint does not take his exit!

The squirrel runs… can you guess?… for the front door. I give Chris the kindest look I can and then run to the closed front door (as the squirrel is now trying to pick the locks of the front windows, for it knows the tree of life is just past the glass).

I open the door wide. The squirrel, with a brain the size of a chia seed, has now started circling the den, again. The dog, the husband, and the three kids follow it like it was their last meal. The dog even catches the fluffy tail as the squirrel climbs the window’s curtain. But for whatever reason my dear and loyal dog will not clasp down. Something about being at the final destination of a life long dream, he does not give in to its end.

The squirrel squeals. Cody laughs. Rory claps. Ryder buries his face in embarrassment of the “cute” squirrel’s stupidity to leave. Chris holds up furniture to help the squirrel find his way. I, with no ounce of class, yell at the squealing rat, “Get out of my house! I have a conference call in 11 minutes! The front door is open!”

The squirrel exits out the front door, up the tree, and squabbles at me from above. The dog sits in the foyer and smiles. “Another day.” He no doubt thinks to himself.

This is a small glimpse in the life of the Mini Macks. Each day with similar excitement and camaraderie. The summer has been brilliant with ocean adventures with Oma to visit Great Grandpa and Grandma Parker, and cousin Logan in the treasured beaches of Hatteras Island. Only to be followed up with equally exciting times with Grandma and uncle Tim in berry patches and vast parks. Visiting Great Grandma Bates and other “Greats” while I was in Nepal was the center of fun. And of course their own ocean and pool adventures back home were not to be missed.

But the crème de la crème was not only getting a new niece on my side this spring (Hi Teagan! We will meet some day soon!), but to get another on Chris’ side. Congratulations to Jon and Angela, please welcome the newest Mini Mack cousin, Miss Emma Jeanette Mack.

(Black and White photo credit: Ryder Mack)

After a very long visit (but not long enough for me!) the Mini Macks checked up on Emma’s income source, her Daddy’s BMW dealership and mechanic shop, Import Autowerks, where Jon employs only the best office manager around – Grandpa! The Mini Macks report the shop passed all Mini Mack inspections, complete with muck and oil all over Cody in no time flat!

It is August. My 31st birthday is just around the corner and I am caught by the magnificence of this life. Three Mini Macks in, more than a decade of happily ever after with Chris, family, family, and more family. A God who loves me and I evermore, love Him. Life is golden.

We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.  – Mother Teresa